Oliver is unwell for almost two weeks

Two weeks ago, Oliver was isolated away from other infants in the care centre for suspected Chicken Pox. There are already 20 toddlers who were infected with Chicken Pox in Del-care to-date. This week, Oliver again did not go to Del-care. The reason is heavy mucus and phlegm condition. He has been coughing for a while and the condition worsen. The blocked duct causes him to have booger stuck in his eyelids. Oliver could not open his eyes when he wakes up. He throws out food as the mucus goes into this throat. It is really quite heartache to feel his feverish body.

Being a parent is my greatest upheaval task in life. I envy those parents who have endless bounds of energy and patience towards their child. My brother has 3 girls and I wonder if he has that energy and patience. I totally lost patience tending to my sickly Oliver. He refused to eat his meal and drink his milk, vomited and made a mess out of himself. This is made harder especially now that I have to prepare his puree meal and Boon Heng cannot be around due to work. On two occasions, I hit him very hard on his thigh leaving red marks behind. On the third occasion, I scolded at him. I feel very remorseful, especially knowing that Oliver is unwell and not himself. It is at this moment that he needs more tender loving care. In an uncontrollable state of mind, I burst into tears. Oliver, who was seated in my lap, looked at me with a puzzled expression. Although, this is not the first time I have cried in front of him, it is the first time I realize he is starting to pick up the state of my mood. It might be my imagination but Oliver seems to ask me why I am crying. That thought made me laughed at myself somewhat. So it was cry and laugh and cry again. Why cry again? I have to let go of my stress. Crying has an effect of cooling my mind because it made me fell asleep. Well, in the past I can still sleep, now the sleep has to wait.

Anyway, I am writing all these down in Oliver’s blog site for a reason. I want to say sorry to Oliver for my bad behaviour. Oliver, you are too young to understand now, but when you are older, this is what I want to say to you, “Mummy is sorry.”